is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
