another moral hangover. fuck.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
