Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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