soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
