I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
