my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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