Well apparently he's into motor boating.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
