I am spending my child support on dildos
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
