Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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