yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
