That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
