Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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