It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
