She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
