drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
