Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
