Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
