Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
