just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
