ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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