miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
These tits shall not be calmed
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
