he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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