How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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