I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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