Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she smelled like a LAN party
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
