Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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