She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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