Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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