I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
