Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
