the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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