Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
did you just send me my own nude
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
