Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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