i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I love you.
Bad choice
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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