people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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