Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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