Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Randomize
