I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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