She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
