Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Non-Jews are for practice
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
