Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
