i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
