That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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