That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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