this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
