He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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