u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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