dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
