I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
