yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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