Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
